Rinya] The first and last letter from her boyfriend to her after his bereavement.

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Rinya] The first and last letter from her boyfriend to her after his bereavement.

I thought I had put into words everything I needed to say, and I assumed you were smiling next to me as you listened, but being alone like this reminds me that I had no idea what I was talking about.

Are you happy now? I wonder if you are finally laughing from the bottom of your heart.

I see, that's fine.

I've always wanted to see that smile of yours at peace.

Me? I wouldn't change a thing.

I just finally got to laugh at it.

I no longer suffer when I remember you.

What? You think it's terrible? That's you.

I can't believe that he left so many footprints behind and let me follow them, but then he went off on his own.

See, it's awful, isn't it?

It was hard because everywhere I went, I would find you, you know?

Do you remember the paths we used to walk together?

When the weather was nice you used to sing while you walked.

They teased me for being tone deaf, but that seemed to be fun.

But you've heard it over and over again, and for the life of me, I can't remember the song.

I try to remember, but the sky is overcast and you are silent.

I wish they would have sung it one more time. Just for me.

What? You don't like it? I understand. I'll put up with it.

I can't seem to break my habit of opening up your place when I go to bed at night.

Only the right side, where you are supposed to be, stays cold all the time.

That bed is too big for one person to sleep in.

Oh, and I used to get jealous because he hugged his stuffed animals instead of me when he went to bed.

Since it's not here anymore, did you take that stuffed animal with you?

I'm still jealous that you chose that guy instead of me.

And yet, he forgot his favorite sweater.

I cherished it because it smelled like you, but now, no matter how much I nuzzle my face into it, there's nothing left, and it makes me sad.

Also, that camera I gave you, you forgot that one too.

A camera with which we often took pictures of each other.

I loved taking pictures, but my folder stopped on that day.

I haven't taken a single picture since then.

It's because the world is so dark that nothing shows up.

The last picture I took was of the white flowers you said were beautiful.

But every time I look at that picture, I wish I could go back to that day, even though it will never come true, so I erased it the other day.

Sorry.

You've never changed.

Am I the only one who is changing?

I'm sorry I left you.

But you left me first. Yeah, I guess it's mutual.

The world has gone on as it has since then, but since you're not here, there's no reason for you to be here anymore.

But I know you'll get mad at me for saying that, so I'm going to hold my ground a little longer, a little longer.

So when I close my eyes, be sure to come see me.

If I could preserve the memories as they are, they would never fade or disappear, and you would continue to live on in me.

But is it a terrible request to ask you to continue to live here after you have voluntarily said goodbye to this world?

Oh, you sure? Thank you.

I guess I've already told them everything.

I don't know. I feel like I'll never be able to say what I want to say most.

I'll tell you again when I get there.

So wait until then. Maybe not right away.

Because I have to live for you.

I will make amends here for not being able to save you. So please watch from afar.

Don't forget that I'm a useless person who can't say I love you until after I lose you.

I'll see you next time in a world where you won't have to suffer.

I like it.

I love you.

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